Beyond Behaviors: Using Brain Science and Compassion to Understand and Solve Children's Behavioral Challenges

As Den Heijer eloquently states, "When a flower doesn't bloom you fix the environment in which it grows, not the flower.""Our approaches fall short when we simply mist little flowers struggling to grow in parched soil. Instead, we need to tend the soil. In human beings, the 'soil' is safety in relationships - safety as perceived by each child's nervous system, not as defined by adults for the child."I highly recommend this book to anyone that works with children! It breaks down literal brain science and makes it make sense for us lay people. The book was an easy read with a lot of real life examples that helped explain the concepts and tons of worksheets that could be immediately utilized with children and families. The author also provides a lot of good resources.

As someone who has limited training in behaviors and understanding the underlying causes, this book really explains everything clearly. I truly felt after reading this I had a better grasp on the "why" behind behaviors and how to better support my students. This book is great for school teachers, social workers, SLP, OT, PT and any other school professional. I'd also recommend this to parents!

This book contains thought-provoking and ground-breaking insights that will change the way you parent, treat, or educate a child with behavioral challenges. The ideas and practices presented in this book are based on the latest scientific understanding of how we learn to regulate our emotions and behavior in the context of safe interpersonal connections and environments. Dr. Delahooke helps us recognize that what matters most is the child's felt sense of safety and not our own perception or presumption of it. What we perceive as seemingly benign environmental stimuli, children with faulty neuroception or sensory-processing challenges may perceive as a threat to their sense of safety. As a result, their behaviors must be understood as an adaptive response to their unique individual experiences. If you are a parent, educator, or mental health provider for a child with behavioral challenges, reading this book is an imperative. It will fundamentally change the way you approach working with these children for the better. Dr. Delahooke presents complex concepts with such elegant clarity, readability, and compassion that you will be moved to come back to her words again and again as a guide for your understanding of children's needs. As a child psychologist specializing in treating children with challenging behaviors, this is one of my go-to book recommendations for parents who seek to gain a deeper understanding of their child's needs, and the work involved in helping them experience connection and well-being.

A child advocate i found this book very useful! As a parent this helped a lot with my own parenting style too! I would recommend this book to anyone who works with children or any parents!

I absolutely love this book and all the practical advice and exercises

I am a children's ministry director, I am dedicated to providing a church home for all of our kids. That said, we have been getting more and more children with challenging emotional and behavioral needs. I have been looking for a proven, research-backed resource on how to help all kids participate socially. In our case, in our community of faith. I did not want a bag of behavior changing tricks. I wanted to truly understand what my kids were struggling with when they had melt downs or lost control so I and my volunteers could meet them there and help them where they were at. When I found Delahook's book, I knew I had found what I was looking for. It does an excellent job at showing neurologically, biologically and developmentally what life is like from a child's perspective and why they act the way they do. Then it teaches how we adults can be the first intervention with them as a calming presence co-regulating their out of control emotions and eventually helping them to learn how to regulate themselves. Delahook's book is written as a resource for families and educators of special needs kids but I really think that her paradigm should be implemented in working with all children. I know that is what I plan to do. I am very excited to implement the truths in Beyond Behaviors in training all my volunteers.

I don’t even know if I can’t put into words how much this book has changed my life as a parent. I have a 5 year old son who has experienced medical trauma. I also suspect he is neurodiverse, but we do not have any “official” diagnoses yet. This book gave me so much VALIDATION. It put into words instincts I’ve felt as a mother. So many suggestions, so much advice from “professionals” over the years that never sit well with me, went against every instinct I have. And finally. FINALLY. I have the backup, the words, the SCIENCE as to why, as well as the tools to help me advocate for him. I have the tools to “screen” who is going to truly be on my son’s side & help us.Every chapter, I sat back & reflected & cried. Cried for the validation it gave me. Cried for the knowledge it gave me. Cried for the grieving process of realizing that all these years, over & over, people tried to convince me that my son was manipulating me & tried to get me to go against my instincts (& were successful at times). Cried for the power to finally & truly be able to help my son. His behaviors don’t feel overwhelming anymore. We are already reaping the benefits. It’s been life changing, & I’m so thankful for this book.

A remarkable book that challenges so many preconceptions of persistent behaviours problems and challenges parents to think more critically about what behaviours tells us. Highly recommend!

In her book Beyond Behaviours, Dr Delahooke guides the reader towards a deeper understanding of why relational safety is the central component in helping children to develop and thrive. Dr Delahooke's insightful and attuned model draws on the evidence that can be found in Neuroscience, as well as years of working with children and families. Her passion is clearly communicated in the book, which helps the reader to connect with the knowledge and experience she shares. She also models the importance of compassion in the way she sensitively describes each child's difficulties in her case studies.Beyond Behaviours explores why it is crucial to understand and respond to every child's individual differences; authentically and with unconditional positive regard. The book explores more in-depth ways of doing so, through the use of valuable worksheets, checklists and models. The resources included in the book assist the reader to enquire about what else might be happening for a child, when they behave in ways that can be easily misunderstood.If you are the parent, carer or educator of a child who responds to the world in ways that can be difficult to understand or manage, I would highly recommend this book.

This book is amazing. I am a psychology student and a mum and I find the techniques in this book extremely useful.

I love this book

One of the best books I've ever read! As the mum of a child with emotional and behavioural difficulties and a teacher of children with special educational needs, I can't recommend this book enough. It challenges its readers to look at behaviour differently and explains the complexities of brain development, the nervous system and individual differences in such a user friendly way. Beyond Behaviors really is a must read for parents and professionals working with children.