Start Here: A Crash Course in Understanding, Navigating, and Healing From Narcissistic Abuse

The title of my review is what Dana would say at the end of her YouTube videos to me and countless others who were a victim of narcissistic abuse. Over two years ago I really thought I was going crazy as I couldn't make sense of what happened to what I thought was a very happy marriage to a man who constantly told me how much he loved me and I was his best friend. How I was his "soulmate, love of his life, woman of his dreams and the perfect woman for him." I heard all of the above throughout our 20+ years together. But after I caught him out on a date with a just days divorced former ho-worker. And which he told dozens of lies in order to see her; my world got flipped upside down. And then daily it got worse until my whole life exploded in just one day. I could go on and on, but I didn't know what happened to me. I couldn't make sense of him and our entire relationship. Thousands of happy memories no longer mattered to him and I got thrown away like garbage overnight. I have never known such great despair, heartbreak and feeling like my entire life was broken into a million pieces. I didn't know what I did to deserve to be treated so horribly, cold and cruelly. I had never felt like this my entire life and for at least a year my brain felt like scrambled eggs and it hurt but in a way that I can't even describe.Going to a counselor and a psychiatrist (the drug doctor) only helped up until a point. Both of them said, "He sounds like a narcissist.", but they were not able to connect the dots that I was emotionally and psychologically abused. I knew what I went through for over 20 years wasn't normal and the end of our marriage wasn't normal. I kept researching, reading and finally I found Dana Morningstars "Thrive After Abuse" videos. Things started clicking and making sense and every video she told me I was "not crazy." I'm guessing that anyone who was in a relationship like this has "felt crazy" or wondered "Am I going crazy?" It's the scariest thing in the world. And sadly, how he was acting and me connecting the dots to years of gaslighting, projection and years of lying and "other women"; I started to react to the abuse. I pretty much did everything you are not supposed to do, but........there was no guidance from professionals as they didn't know what I was going through.Thank God for Dana and her videos. She and other professionals helped me get to where I am today. I still have a long way to go, but I read her book and it's excellent. It is organized so well and it's written for: (1). People who think they might be in a abusive relationship. (2). People just getting out of an abusive relationship. (3). Professionals and people that want to help and support the victim. The book is packed with information, defining so many terms and giving real life examples for each term. And the nice part is that you don't have to read the whole book if you are already familiar with a lot of the terms. The Table of Contents will easily guide you to look up any subject matter or word definition. The end of the book has strategies to help you heal and gain control of your life again; this is my main focus now. I can easily see myself going back to this book for many years to come to look up information.I can easily see this book being used by professionals to help their patients. Dana's voice comes across as a loving sister or best friend and this same tone is apparent in her writing style. Dana is a psychiatric nurse, so she not only has tons of professional experience, but sadly she's been in destructive relationships with narcs herself. So she gets it and us! As the title suggests -- start here. Yes, this book is a great starting point for anyone looking to heal from narcissistic abuse or really any other problematic relationship.

Excellent book!! Not only does Dana Morningstar give you a thorough explanation of the definitions of Gaslghting, Flying Monkeys, etc. She also offers an in depth understanding of what it is like to be on a Narcissistic relationship. This is the best book I have read on this subject so far. She has offered me such a thorough understanding of what I went through, but a way to start to piece me lief back together. It was like reading my life in black and white. Scary!! I can't thank her enough for the work she does to help those of us unfortunate enough to have gone through this hell. Also, check out her YouTube channel. Amazing!!!

Hi Dana, I really enjoyed your book which was full of great information with examples of narcissistic abuse. I have a narcissistic mother and was in a 16 year relationship with an awful narcissist who hurt me and my children. I only recently became free of my abuser and now am on the upswing for healing. I am in my 50’s and until a year ago had no idea of who a pathological narcissist is. I knew I was abused but was in a state of utter confusion. I’m really hoping that the education of narcissism and abuse becomes more widespread including education in schools. For so long, I didn’t even realize that I was abused. The whole situation is still mind blowing but I am on the mend. Many thanks and hugs, Rachel

At age 60 I just discovered my mother has NPD. Suddenly, my whole life made sense, whereas before I thought something must be wrong with me for my mother to be so displeased with me. I set firm boundaries with her and she immediately gave me the silent treatment. I haven't spoken to her in seven months--her choice. But what freedom! Finally! This book was so helpful in explaining narcissistic abuse.

This book is a definite page turner. I have had it for a few months now, however I have a ton of books on Healing from narcissism. The more I read the more I understand stand that no I am not confused, no I am not crazy, I do not deserve to be treated like this and you no longer serve a purpose in my life because no one deserves to be abused or mistreated. I will probably finish this book tonight. If not tomorrow. Great read! 👍

After spending years in an relationship realizing something was seriously wrong and unable to figure out why. This helps you. I finally got out. It's a pattern of severe abuse but it's so sublime that you don't see it coming and don't know it's going on. This book was really helpful.

This book is so important for those trying to recover from Narcissistic Abuse. Truly, Start Here!! The information presented in this well crafted and informative book is vast and thorough. I bought one for myself and one to donate to my local mental health clinic. Dana Morningstar continues to be an important inspiration to those recovering from Narcissistic Abuse. I encourage all recovering to check out Dana’s Youtube channel and subscribe to her podcast ‘Thrive After Abuse ‘. I am thriving and want to spread this information around the world! Godspeed Dana! And thank you so much!!!

This is the best book that I have found on the subject of surviving narcissistic abuse. In very plain terms, the author describes the cycle of narcissistic abuse and answers many of the questions you may have. Most importantly, she gives you strategies to heal and helps you realize that you are not alone. I highly recommend this book. Please mark if you find my review helpful. Thank you so much!

If you are having problems in your relationships and your confused - this book just may help you. It did me, I was amazed after all these years of living with a narcissistic husband, tolerating the silent treatment, suppressing my emotions, to discover why I was so ill. If only ... only I was armed with this book years ago, I could of recognised what was happening to me. Please read this book if you are unhappy, depressed, suffer from anxiety, or any other illness - inflammation?, your body is telling you something.

I've read a couple of books on this subject, and found this by far the most easiest to read, (some are just too heavy going to be honest). I found it was straight forward with great advice, that often had me saying OMG to things I could relate too! It certainly is an eye opener and made me release my ex husband to be, is a text book narcissist. If you're going through what the book talks about, what I've been through, I wish you well, there is a better life out their, believe in yourself you certainly deserve it.

I very recently ended a relationship with a narcissist and was desperately trying to understand what happened, why I am feeling the way I am feeling and who the hell I spent 6 months with. This book explains so clearly and answered so many questions. In fact, the whole thing was spot on explaining my ex-partner's personality and traits. I have already recommended this book to quite a few ladies I speak to in support groups. Every time I had a super low moment I started to read this and within minutes I was reassured again that not only was I not at fault but also I am not crazy (like I was led to believe). If you are still struggling with the aftermath of an abusive relationship I highly recommend reading this book, you won't want to put it down.

I wish I had read this book years ago!Being in an emotionally abusive relationship is so debilitating.Love is blind, they say, but it should not cause you pain and misery - however dazzling they might be, avoid controlling Narcissists like the plague!Silent treatment?Lack of trust - to the point of paranoia?If this sounds like your partner then you really need this book.Personality Disorders are incurable, there is no effective medication and you can't "Love them enough" to cure them.Just get out, run away and forget them - as Bette Middler says"It's not always your fault."Don't fall for the alleged "Highly Sensitive Person" BS either!

I chose this rating because this book is very informative and it's helped me a great deal. It was like it was written about my ex. Its given me the realisation I was always right about him and it wasn't me. Thank you Dana