Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love

I really enjoyed this book. For every book, no matter how great, there's always critics or things that don't appeal to some. I'm glad I didn't let those opinions stop me from purchasing this.Even prior to beginning a new relationship recently (my first one in several years after taking time for introspection and personal growth), I've been heavily interested in psychology, esp on relationships/sex. I've read many books on the subject, including at least one other by John Gottman, and still found this book well worth the read. It covers what I believe really are the key conversations that can make or break a healthy, happy, satisfying relationship, and provides a great variety of examples and scientific research for each area of focus. There's short exercises that help individuals get thinking about the topics at a deeper personal level prior to each date which helps make the dates themselves more productive and connective. There's also great instructions and tips, not just on how to keep each conversation positive, healthy, and even fun, but also how to communicate effectively in general. Many are simple things that I'm sure we've all heard at some point—active listening by making eye contact, rephrasing back, and asking questions; keeping an open, non-judging mindset; being kind and understanding to each other; etc—but are summarized together very succinctly and efficiently. The dates themselves (i.e. the topics of focus) are, imo, very thoughtfully laid out as far as order and build well. For example, date 1 begins with Trust & Commitment, a foundation that is necessary in order to make the following dates that cover more sensitive subjects (such as money/work and sex) successful.Additional highly important key points to happy relationships are emphasized throughout the book, such as cherishing each other, showing kindness, and focusing on positive, which align perfectly with my own experience and other research, yet are often overlooked or greatly undervalued by most couples. I appreciated this. I also appreciated that it was stated (and backed with examples/research) that aside from a few specific aspects (such as wanting children or not), differences in couples, such as interests and certain beliefs, does not corelate with level of happiness and satisfaction, and WHY, as well as tips on HOW to connect in these situations. This has been a fear of mine in my own relatively new relationship that is otherwise the happiest, healthiest one I've ever been in and truly see being a lifelong partnership; so I felt so grateful to read this.I loved that the authors also included small actions that can be immediately implimented. Kissing each other goodbye, finding small ways to show appreciation, committing to a dedicated time to be with each other each week, etc. Again, this is likely not new info for anyone who's read other relationship books but I still found it very well said and still found new takeaways in each chapter.I could go on. Highly recommend this book. Whether you're single, newly relationed, or have been together for years, I think everyone could gain something from this book.

Very informative book with great advice for couples. Fast shipping and.

This book is essential reading for serious couples. It forces those tough conversations that all couples must have to help maintain a healthy relationship. Great book!

We love the ideas and thoughts of this book. The authors gave great insight for renewing those "butterflies" and how to keep them "fresh".

Great book would def recommend, plan on reading the others by Julie as well when I can get to it.

This book is very informative and I love the context. I definitely recommend this book.

Recommend to anyone dating right now with an ultimate goal of partnership or lasting connection. This book gives instrumental advice on how best to communicate and learn and love each other. It is practical and a nice paced read. I am single but will be referring to this in future partnerships. Great collaborative writing from the authors and tools on embracing differences. I give it a 5 because I believe it will be helpful in most dating peoples lives. Give it a shot.

This book had lots of thought provoking questions as a launchpad to have discussion I would have never thought of with my beloved. I’m going to propose we read it together and do the dates.