All the Rules: Time-tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right Mass Market Paperback – January 1, 2007

Half a Century ago, women had a much better chance of having a good marriage. Why? Because playing hard to get was the social norm. Today, women have not been schooled in the basics! They sleep around, pick up the tab, live with their boyfriends, and believe in the idea that being elusive will make men think they're not interested! Of course, the opposite is true.The advice this book gives has been called many things--unfeminist, manipulative, and deceptive. But i have noticed that those reviewers have not even tried the rules, they just reject them based on their own personal opinion. Some others have said that it doesn't work on all guys. I'm guessing that the guy they were attracted to wasn't that interested in them, and blamed it on this book. Following the rules doesn't mean that every guy will be attracted to you. It's basically a filter, to get the guys who are and then finding your own personal Mr. Right among these men.The Rules are the epitome of feminism! Being feminist doesn't mean you are aggressively pursuing everything and anything, and if you're not, you're not being feminist. It's having self-esteem as a woman. A "Rules Girl" by definition is confident, independent, active, and very, very hard to get. She is not clingy, isn't sleeping around, has high self-esteem (or acts like she does), and lives a full life. A man doesn't fill her up, because already has her own interest and hobbies. She doesn't completely fall apart when a relationship doesn't work out. She tells herself that there are other suitable men out there and goes to the very next singles dance to increase her chances of finding them. She doesn't treat a date like a therapy session, or a man like a savior. She's a rules girl!The Rules aren't manipulative. They are simply a set of guidelines that, when followed, produce results. It's cause and effect.They aren't deceptive either. Rules Girls don't lie, or have affairs with married men. When the authors advised girls to be mysterious, not very revealing, on the first few dates, they didn't mean lie! Mysterious simply means that you're not pouring out your whole life story to a stranger. Doing so is inconsiderate and pulls men away, not closer. Women argue that this is deceptive because they aren't "being themselves". You ARE yourself on dates. Think of a date like a job interview. At an interview, you behave a certain way to give the best impression. But you are yourself. As the relationship continues, you can reveal more. He WILL know the real you!!I heard a story once that proves that revealing too much pushes men away: A divorced man took his kid to McDonald's and met a woman with her own kid. They were getting along very well as they watched the kids play together. He was attracted to her and asked her out. Sounds perfect, right? But on their first date, the woman dumped her problems and life story on him. He really couldn't take such a heavy load right away and his interest waned. The man later said he wanted to find a woman who, basically, acted like a rules girl!Remember, men and women are equal professionally, BUT THEY ARE NOT EQUAL ROMANTICALLY!!! Men MUST pursue women! They like to, no matter what they say about a girl playing hard to get. If a man has not sought you out, he is not REALLY interested! You must not start a conversation yourself. Men like feeling chivalrous and will go all-out for a girl they are interested in. That's why a man who is interested will pick up the tab at a restaurant. you must not feel guilty about him paying for you. It doesn't mean you are a gold-digger--he LIKES the feeling of being chivalrous. Of course, if he asks you to pay half, cheerfully do so, just know that he is not THAT interested, as hard a concept as it is to swallow.Hard to get does not mean impossible to get.You CAN return his phone calls. The authors said RARELY, not NEVER.Wouldn't you rather have a man who pursued you? who couldn't live without you? Who treated you like the #1 girl in the world and not someone he could get in ten minutes? Girls who follow the rules get men who act like gentlemen.Someone said that this doesn't work for sensitive, shy guys. But it does! Even a shy guy will eventually find the confidence to approach a woman he is REALLY interested in. Women like to label men they are attracted to as "shy" when he hasn't approached them. The reality is, they are just not THAT interested!I recommend this book to everyone. They are plenty of success stories. Do the rules even when things are slow. Being single is better than being in a relationship with a guy who doesn't treat you like a precious flower. Don't judge by your own personal opinion. Follow the rules to the letter and see for yourself!

Right now as I write this review, I am snuggled up in bed and planning my WEDDING. I was always a pretty, pleasant, nice girl-but because I was so nice I would date guys wayyyyy longer than I needed to, and who clearly were not for me. I am needy-I admit it. I wear my heart on my sleeve, and though this behavior is rewarded in movies, it is not in real life! I not only turned off some great guys, but I probably prevented some of the guys from getting to know me-because they may have gotten freaked out by my gestures (cards, cooking dinner, being too romantic too soon)Anyways, all i ask is you try it. I am in love with the Rules and was CHASED and i mean CHASED by my now fiance. I was myself in the rules. i did not lie. I did not pretend to be someone I wasn't. The only thing i did was i didn't invest first. Meaning, i didn't treat him like he was my bf when he wasnt. (Many girls do this, after 3 dates with a guy they go into fantasy world thinking that they are "dating" a guy and they also turn down dates). The rules explains you should date and be open to meeting guys until your guy asks you to be exclusive. I also let him call me. I also got busy and was invested in my doctorate program.Anyways, the purpose is that the Rules just reminds the woman to take a breather. The Rules says, "you are beautiful and amazing and you don't have to settle for anyone. Do you, enjoy life, don't invest until he wants to" and that's that. I still will not understand why there is so much controversy. I have bought the book for three friends who are all "against" the rules and they are all still single and keep making the same mistakes (professing their love to guys who don't care about them, not being open to meeting others, being in unhappy relationships and not getting out).I am not a great writer-so forgive my horribly written review. All i ask is that you try this for ONE Month, In the 4 months that I did the Rules I had guys begginnnnng me to go on a date with them. I was proposed to after 6 months! I am with a guy who treats me like a QUEEN and i treat him like a KING because he is my king. He is my dream man, funny, sweet, smart, and romantic.If i had not done the rules-i would be with my old boyfriend and complaining how he was never romantic or never gave me flowers and didn't seem to care about me. The Rules empowers women to not settle, to realize what they deserve and to ACT like it.Last anecdote. It kills me when my gorgeous best friend will go on a few dates and then consider herself to be "dating" a guy that has not said that explicitly. She ends up focusing on him, confessing her feelings to him, and scaring him off! The Rules gives the woman a breather, and also gives the man the space to realize his feelings for the woman.The rules says, if a guy doesn't like you. Or if a guy breaks up with you, you take a breath, put on lipstick, and go out . NEXT! I love that mentality. It's not the end of the world if a guy doesnt like you, not every guy can like every woman! the purpose is not to waste months or YEARS on the wrong man!!!!

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This book has some great advice. Don’t chase men!!! If a man wants to see you, date you… he will let you know!!! So true!!!